Pato
Protagonist · sport enthusiast · music lover · dog lover · family lover.
The Story
Age: 18
SLAM!AGE 18My parents' divorce
Being the youngest of 3, my mom waited until I left to live with my girlfriend, and then divorced. When that relationship ended, I moved back in with my mom and grandma — some of the happiest years of my life.
Age: 22
SIGH…AGE 22Grandma passed away
Apart from my mom, the other stable pillar in my life. She raised me from childhood, and I saw her every day. So grateful for the last years living together — she treated me almost too well (spoiled me rotten). I got the call from my mom while finishing my thesis in Barcelona. I flew home. She waited until I was back and, alone with me and my mom, took our hands and passed peacefully.
Age: 22
WAAAH!AGE 22I became a dad (Jack)
Four weeks after my grandma died, I graduated in Sports Management and threw a big party. A girl I'd met in Barcelona — Jen — called me. We had seen each other several times, no fixed relationship. She was 31; I was impressed by her status and career and initially lied about my age. When I moved home I didn't plan to continue anything. She also had a boyfriend. When she called with the news she was pregnant, I decided to take responsibility, move back, and co-parent. During the pregnancy I found out I was likely not the biological dad. I decided to move forward anyway and do a DNA test once he was born.
Age: →
ZOOM!AGE →Chapter: Moved from Netherlands to Barcelona
A new country, a new chapter — and a new family in the making.
Age: 23
CRASH!AGE 23Car accident
I turned left where I couldn't, and a speeding motorbike hit the side of the car. His wife (59) flew over the car, lost her helmet mid-air (not properly adjusted), landed on her head and was unconscious immediately, making strange sounds. A week later she passed away. A long trial followed. For me: six months without a driver's license and a €4K fine.
Age: 24
MWAH!AGE 24Got married
Not planned when I moved to Barcelona, but we got to know each other better and started dating while she was already pregnant. We built our relationship and decided to get married in Ibiza. An amazing party, a whole weekend with friends and family. A celebration of love — with our special story — that I'll never forget.
Age: 25
AWW!AGE 25I became a dad again (Lu)
I wasn't ready, but Jen wanted a complete family with 2 kids. I was slower with decisions and usually followed her lead — which usually worked out. She stopped contraception and was pregnant within a week. I felt anger — I had thought this would take years and I could prepare. Stupid of me, of course. Our princess arrived and the family was complete. Meanwhile I thought: now it's time for me to build a career, and your turn to take care of the kids. That didn't work out. Friction started.
Age: 27
SNAP!AGE 27Burn out
The marriage started to burst — the anger and friction above, plus rising pressure at work. I wanted to climb the ladder and raised the bar. I snapped: burn-out and 9 months of sick leave. During my sick leave, Jen had an affair with a colleague which I found out. Two years of therapy — psychologist first, then psychiatrist. End result: chronic treatment with Vandrall Retard.
Age: 28
CLINK!AGE 28We bought property together
We ignored the red flags and signals and bought property together in Barcelona and renovated it.
Age: 30
BOOM!AGE 30I met Gissy
Love at first sight. This was how I had imagined my dream wife, and I instantly fell in love. For months I thought about how to approach her. She was a parent of one of the kids in Lu's class. I asked her out for a drink. I knew it was wrong in so many ways, but I couldn't stand not chasing my heart. Everyone had always praised me — brave, courageous, so young to emigrate and become a dad, such a romantic ending. Suddenly I was on the other side, the bad one — about to break my marriage to pursue a relationship that was wrong in so many ways.
Age: 30–34
WHAM!AGE 30–34Divorce
As expected, knowing my ex-wife's character, this would be warfare. • I was supposed to work with a mediator or shared lawyer — she insisted on separate lawyers. • Knowing my ex, I looked for an assertive, verbally aggressive lawyer. • My lawyer's first claim: I move into the house while she paid the mortgage. • She countered: I was mentally unstable and suicidal, so unable to care for the kids — she wanted full rights and me paying so she could control my visits. • After 4 years of mental war and lawyers back and forth, we settled. She had to pay me a fraction of what was probably fair to buy out my stake — but I had to prioritize my mental health.
Age: 34
TA-DA!AGE 34Bought my dream house
With the divorce finished and some savings, I bought my dream house (with a mortgage, of course). A detached house (4 vientos) with 650m² of land. I saved for a modest renovation and the result is stunning. Big enough for all 5 of us, a pool in summer, beautiful views — a dream come true… for me. For Gissy it wasn't: she's a city girl and misses her independence. We also discovered very different parenting styles which caused friction. I honestly believe that especially in the last months we've found a middle ground and bent towards each other.
Age: 34
OOF…AGE 34Almost separated from Gissy
A rough period. I pushed to live in my dream place while it wasn't hers. I pushed living together while she might not have been ready. I was ignorant, thinking I was dominant and could impose my way of running a household. We did couple therapy and got out of the crisis, though the situation wasn't fully resolved. My main worry is the bad relationship between my son and Gissy, influenced by my ex-wife and by way too much information the kids received through her.
Age: 35
POW!AGE 35I got fired
After a successful 11-year career in sports partnerships, I got fired. I had moved 2 years earlier to a German multinational; my project ended and I didn't match with my manager. Fired — but on 'good' terms, with a buffer to rebuild and start my own boutique agency. Actually a dream come true, and about to succeed with far more independence and freedom. It also showed vulnerability that balanced my relationship with Gissy. I'm more open and willing to move toward her way of living — a better, more peaceful household. Still, a setback and a mental punch to be fired.
Age: 35
BEEP! BEEP!AGE 35Life-threatening bacteria
I almost died from Leptospirosis. I probably got infected working in the garden — contaminated mud through my eyes or small open wounds. It started with severe headaches, then fever and extreme dizziness. My platelets dropped to 30 and oxygen saturation to 50%. They quickly cleared blood and infection from my lungs and prevented permanent brain damage or death. Two weeks in hospital, one in ICU. During hospitalization I was full of adrenaline and only wanted to go home and recover ASAP. Home is where the setback started. I woke up thinking I was having a heart attack — paralyzed left arm, leg and cheek, extreme chest pain, fainted twice. It turned out to be a severe panic attack; my psychiatrist diagnosed PTSD. I'm now on 2× 0.5mg Rivotril a day. Meanwhile I'm extremely worried about Gissy's health and wellbeing.